And the hits just keep on comin'...

Patti Brockschmidt

July 31, 2020

“And the hits just keep on comin’…”

-feelings of 2020

This quote used to take me back to listening to the Top 40 on the radio when I was a kid.  Lately however, I have been using this for the unexpected events that have taken control of the first half of my 2020.  

I know so many people can understand my feelings for so much of 2020.  The world situation has impacted so many people in various ways.  Mine is no different in the fact we hit some snags….but may be slightly different in the snags themselves.

Our family had many shifts and moves.  My husband had a stroke in early February.  He went from being what he thought was a healthy 55 year-old man who worked and took care of his family to someone who needed some help doing basic tasks.  

We were on our way to dinner after a great day together when our life decided to take a “plot twist.” 

Our February to July went like this: Going along obliviously happy - to ER - to ICU - to storoke/neuro floor of hospital - to a rehab hospital - to home and outpatient therapy - to doing therapy at home - to getting back to some normalcy.

This meant that my roles changed from being my husband’s wife - to his caregiver - to his cheerleader - to the enforcer - and coming around to wife again with still some enforcer in me. 

During this time of our plot twist, the world also decided to turn upside down and face the COVID epidemic.  We were acutely aware of this because this meant that Neal’s outpatient amazing therapy place had to shut down after only one week of him starting, which meant that he had to do his therapy at home.  He was driven and wanted to get back to before and regain use of his right side, so he worked very hard. 

We also had to do some moving.  Due to a multitude of circumstances, we needed to sell our house. To do that, we packed, painted, and did all the home repairs to get the house on the market.  That meant renting a storage unit and my two college boys, who were now living with us due to schools going online, packing, loading and moving boxes out of our house to make it ready for showings, while helping me take care of regular house chores and their dad.  It worked out that we sold our house and moved to a small town about 35 minutes away.  Neal continued to go to doctor appointments and therapy during this whole process. He worked to regulate his now monitored blood pressure, cholesterol and therapy sessions.  At the end of this fun stuff, they also decided that he needed a stent placed in his heart.  See what I mean…Hits….

It has now been almost 6 months.  Neal is doing amazingly well.  I may have made it seem like we did this on our own.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  Every step of the way, we had family, friends, amazing neighbors, pastors and many others that were supportive.  My younger daughter was able to leave and come immediately and stay for a week to help. Part of me is thankful that Covid was happening during part of this time.  That meant that my boys (in college in another town) were around to help and be here for not only me but for their dad.  Do I hate that they missed the spring of their junior and senior years?  Of course.  Am I still incredibly thankful to them for all that they did to help?  Oh yes!  Our oldest daughter wasn’t able to come because she was in the middle of her own Master’s program and seeing patients and I know it was incredibly hard on her to not be there in person.  

We have remained hopeful most of the time and it was in no small part to all of the incredible people that surrounded us and lifted us up.  Did we still have dark days?  I know I did.  I had to learn to accept help from others.  As someone who likes to be there and help others, it’s another thing altogether to know how to take help or ask for it.  A good friend, who has been through her own family health crisis explained it perfectly this way, When you are in the middle of your own crisis, and someone asks, “What can I do to help?” you are so caught up trying to survive each minute/day that you really don’t have any idea. I had some incredible people that took it in to their own hands and just “did.”  They would drop off snacks, send a text, or leave a gift card in my door, etc. We knew we had many people that were thinking and praying for and with us.  

I never asked “why?” during this, because it didn’t occur to me really.  I just asked, what do I need to do?  I do remember asking “how am I going to get through this” and “what do I need to do to make that happen.”

We are now getting settled and unpacked in our home that we have decided to live in for the next year.  It has a wonderful back yard that is quiet and surrounded by trees.  It is going to be a great place to take a step back and heal.  At the end of the year, we will reevalualte and see where we are and what we need to do.  

Taking in all that we went through this year, and knowing that so many people are dealing with trials and situations in their everyday lives, and some even more amplified with the world quarantine situation, I wanted to give back some of the amazing love and support and pass it along.  I know that it is important to have a positive outlook, as much as you can, but it’s also ok to seek and ask, or accept help. I came up with RoseyDaze to have conversations with people that are experts in their fields and can offer great advice or things to think about.